Changing lanes, shattering steady

Posted: June 29, 2014 in Life, Personal
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

steady

So many days of in and out. So many days spent impregnating the city of dreams. Finally the summon happened, the quick, the unforeseen and the desperate call, that broke it to me. It’s a Pune calling after all.

As I sat in my ride that promised a dreamy tomorrow, I fell into introspection. My brows quivered with,  “How did I get here?”

Change. It isn’t surprising to me anymore. I have seen it thousands of times knocking at my door. Ever since I saw the light for the first time, steady hasn’t stopped to rest in my palate. Possibly because I have inadvertently believed stagnancy to be for cowards, for the weak who are afraid to find what is out there. I believe in transcendence. I worship exploration. What turns me on is this constant battering in my head: What if I die unfurled? What if I perish unbloomed? What if I don’t get to see the better side of the world?

If purpose has a life, then I am damn sure traveling has been inscribed into my soul deliberately. Could be a reason why my father found Air Force to begin with. Life of an airman was never steady. With incessant postings thrown at his face, we have always wound up in strange lands amongst contorted languages. As a kid, I have had the pleasure of acquainting and embracing the unknown. Reason why peculiar doesn’t surprise me anymore. Under the aegis of my father, I have traveled most parts of the country, breaking barriers and boundaries, learning freedom quite young. So have the rest of my family. My brother, an equally zealous creature of light, enjoying the gusto of life, with traveling chances served to him in silver platter, has rambled even more than me.

In the beginning it was hard. The times of the flying doves and letters lost in transportation. We believed in threads of life then. Those brilliant connections that kept us alive and agile every day. We had friends we were reluctant to let go. There was always a goodbye staring at us from the end of the tunnel and we would know there was ‘lost’ painted all over it. But the timeline has taken a brilliant warp today. Now we have phones, internet and what not to keep them closer to our heart. We are no longer afraid of a ‘so long’. Looking back has become a mere zippy stare at a teeny screen.

Fate has this funny way of putting you at places your maps have been inked into. It is inadvertent. Involuntary. One moment you are treading known roads, kicking familiar stones, the next moment, you find yourself trampling over odd rocks.

You will cease to exist the day you create your boundaries. The day you demark yourself saying: “This is me. I will not go beyond this”. The universe wouldn’t be interested in you then. Because you are not seeking it. There is no thrill for questions in you. You are happy in doubt. That is the end of you. Clarity is meaning. Dubiety is inconsequential.

Now I embrace change with open arms. The new city offers me everything I have always wanted. Maybe it is fate’s way of pushing me towards an attraction I am unaware of. Maybe my roads intertwine somewhere ahead with a future. May be change is a nature’s way to keep me breathing. Or maybe to cross my paths with an epiphany ahead.

If plans floor under my shoes, I know that I love to walk. There is surprise in my eyes, wonder in my heart, and mirth in my soul. So, all I am gonna do is tread along, smiling, loving and caressing every transformation that I encounter.

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