Archive for the ‘Universe’ Category

Cloudia The Perpendicular Universe

The city is crying. Tears of grief that clouds withheld for years are falling down in unison through a bazillion eyes. Their croon – voices of thunder, shrieks of acute pain that emanate because a reaper’s scythe has cracked them open with a lightning, go unheard, unnoticed like an inevitable backdrop. They have come with colossal rivers and they are going to pour till they run dry.

As I look up at the grey that clouds our judgement, the city appears to be sad. Roads are clogged with vehicles. Every brow has a frown. Engines purring non-stop. People dying to get to their destination. Vehicles looking at the clear lane with jealous eyes as some whoosh pass by. Bikes squeezing through the narrowest of paths, whilst cars blocking them deliberately to destroy their progress. Malice grinning behind the wheels. My city carries that din that constantly knells in your head till you find a quiet. There is a constant air of confusion, of endless commotion in every eye, in every heart, a restlessness to be somewhere, far away from the dead roads.

It took me an hour to get to my room. All that time I kept thinking if I had taken a different route, maybe a different street, I could have made it a little earlier. Albeit all those what-ifs, conundrums of possibilities and probabilities account to nothing once you are home, in the back of my head, I was well aware of another day that was to come with the eventuality of yet another jam. All those roads not taken are going to haunt me again with time. All those choices in my life, all those poor decisions that took me to a halt, all those bad cuts I took that stopped me at roadblocks are going to mash up in my face one day and say:

You didn’t live enough. You didn’t live right. They gave you time and you squandered it in us clogs.

Half of my life I have been stuck up in inexorable circumstances, doing things that wouldn’t probably matter in any possible dimension. Immobile. Just hanging there, doing nothing! If I reckon every single moment I wasted, just breathing in a swarm that doesn’t go anywhere, or following orders that don’t take me to a destination, just lying in my bed staring at the fan, or doing something pointless to kill time, I would end up, to be precise, with my entire life. Sadly I have wasted every bit of it. Not just me. Everyone on this planet has. Unaware about our true purpose, and leaving things to destiny, we have basically done nothing. We are too lazy to do anything. Too stupid to fathom our real purpose. We are just passing time, waiting for the inadvertent to happen to us, and someone or something to approve of us. We are just going with the flow, slaying time so that one day we age to death.

It weeps for days here. A downpour like that, seems like nature has simply given up on us. Weather’s been changing abruptly. There were earthquakes a couple of days ago. Tsunamis with forks that plan on eating a big chunk of our land.

Is that why nature’s angry? That we haven’t figured it out yet? Is it time for nature to swallow us up and start a new project? Are we failures too just like dinosaurs, our ancestral relatives? Is it time for a better-brained evolution to succeed us?

If that were the case these tears are justified. Just wish we could do something to ease the pain!

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I feel restless. As if the meaning of life has further inched its way into the dead blankets of obscurity. I am subconsciously aware of what I am doing. Just not sure why am I doing it. Every task I have taken, every job I did, reeks of a certain ‘way’ that someone from time has punched in my head. Placed into my way. Made it his own. I am ‘asked’ to tread on it. But why? Why didn’t they tell me why?

Why do you do a thing? Why do you do a particular kind of job? Who puts it into your head? To follow a certain thing? Why do you need to follow it in the first place?

Our lives are taught. Fetched, out of our own will, misled and misdirected just to engage ourselves in something meaningless and superficial. So that we don’t question back. So that we don’t bother look up into the sky for answers.

So puny I feel sometimes, not able to do anything about finding our creator. So many people who have access to what lies yonder, who are able to move freely in space, who defy gravity that keeps us together on ground, are so lucky, are so fortunate to be able to explore. If it is not about finding Him, it couldn’t be just about dying.

Humans are stereotyped engineers. Robots following orders from better and upgraded versions of other robots. No matter how much you know, how much you are aware about your exploit, you still cannot do anything about it. Just following, like puppets, every command fed in your head. So pointless our existence! Such meaningless our struggle for answers! Nothing drops by. Nothing makes it here. Nothing changes.

I wish to find You. I just wish, You take me away from all of this. I don’t care if it’s nothing but dark out there. I just wish to know the truth for once. For once I wish not to be lied to!

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Often found myself, stuck, staring at meaningless images and pointless propaganda that my screen throws at me. Times when I am not around people, not having fun, and smothering myself with tasks that show no direction, I wonder what compelled me to do it in the first place. Zeroing in on to figurative, a bigger picture strays ahead that expunges the obvious.

Why are we doing this? What are we to achieve?

Our every act is directed towards nothingness, just another void where everything fades to incoherence. Makes me wonder we are just getting by. We are waiting for it to get over one day. If at the end of the tunnel, did we stop and look back for introspection, we would be surprised to find out, that all we ever did was breathe and survive. Created mundane, lived mundane, for the mundane. What did we really do?

You see our lives, our paths, have been defined by people all around us. Each road, each street, we traverse, our choices, drenched with decisions laid out by another earthly meaningless soul walking amongst us. That mortal has thrown a certain way in front of our eyes, and unfortunately our legs aren’t ears. They don’t listen. They don’t reason. They just walk.

No better way to put it than Leo Tolstoy:

The only absolute knowledge attainable by man is that life is meaningless.

The moment we saw the light for the first time, we became puppets. People who introduced us to the world taught us roads they have been following. Our judgments permeated in their perspective. From dropping a deuce, to combing our hair, from brushing our teeth to taking a bath, every act tainting of ‘a way’, we are supposed to blindly pursue. We go to school. We try to learn things, we don’t comprehend. We spend years to do that. All that precious time, just following something, since we didn’t really have a purpose then! We just have to, in simpler words, survive. We were too dumb to be able to sustain an era, or too immature to understand life – so the experts say. Well, we still don’t, do we?

We are walking on lines, our society drew. Do we have a goal? Are we supposed to just survive? Is that all?

We are only trying to earn a living. If there is nothing more to life than the intent to survive, why do we even bother? All we have to do is eat, sleep and repeat! Some say – we should give back. If we are to give the world something, let’s say an invention, why do they need it at all, and what for? So that they can live easily? Why is survival the penultimate truth?

What is the point of societal conventions then? Would it really matter if we ran destitute or died rich? Would it matter if we were caught in a perennial gloom or a sustained elation then? Would it matter if we lived our lives with or without regrets?

If we repeat a day, every act in it, inadvertently, who is to say that we lived wrong? Didn’t we just, I don’t know, survive another day? Besides who is to judge? What makes our creator a judge? Did you give us a purpose to live? Then how do you get to decide what we do is right or not? Then again, we didn’t ask for this!

We are simply sentient entities thrown into this planet to breathe.A small brain to delegate our creator’s work unconsciously. We are self-aware robots with lots of questions but with only human reasoning to overwhelm our doubts.

This life is a limbo. We must have been in a better place before. Now we are just living a lie, without a purpose, without a point with just a half-hearted wish to coexist, mostly following blind guys who claim to see.

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So I came across an excellent movie the other day. Can’t believe I had missed it for so long. The concept just blew me away.

The flick titled ‘Another Earth’ directed by Mike Cahill saw one of the most creative artist-cum-writers Brit Marling in its lead. She plays a girl with a terrible past, trying really hard for forgiveness, except her repentance is incessantly screwing things up. Okay so, I would try to avoid spoilers for the sake of movie-buffs.

The event that happens at the very beginning of the flick is so sad and tragic, that it is impossible for her to get it out of her system. She keeps thinking about it every single day. The pain is so depressing, and quite apparent on her countenance, it instantly makes you empathize with her. It is as if she has lost her purpose in the mundane. She is so bent on undoing what has occurred that she is willing to do anything. The irony lies in the fact that there is an opportunity right there, staring down at her from a distance, in the form of another Earth.

The beautiful planet which resembles Earth in every aspect is forever there in the movie, making people wonder a lot of ifs and whats. People in the movie call it Earth 2. It piques the interest of Brit owing to those possibilities and what-ifs she has been beating herself about. It could be another dimension. It could be another possibility of her life’s events.

So, basically there are two stories running simultaneously. Both interrelated because of the tragic event that compels Brit to behold Earth 2 as a chance to absolve herself. She plays her character so subtly that it makes you read all those thoughts that are running through her head at every moment, throughout the flick.

There are some brilliant quotes in the movie that make you ponder.

Within our lifetimes, we’ve marveled as biologists have managed to look at ever smaller and smaller things. And astronomers have looked further and further into the dark night sky, back in time and out in space. But maybe the most mysterious of all is neither the small nor the large: it’s us, up close. Could we even recognize ourselves, and if we did, would we know ourselves? What would we say to ourselves? What would we learn from ourselves? What would we really like to see if we could stand outside ourselves and look at us?

The moment when everyone finds out the planet is an exact mirror image of our Earth fills your head with bazillion questions. (So long spoilers!) What would probably blow your mind is the fact that there is an exact ‘you’ who was born, where you were born, who has lived, where you have lived and who might be wondering the exact same questions on finding out about you. Nobody knows the answers to what lies yonder. Yet everybody is curious for answers because everyone is living stories they would want to live differently.

Just when you are about to feel Brit’s penitence is falling into place, the movie ends at a surreal juncture. The climax makes you wonder. You would end up with so many questions and probably with solutions too.

The most important thing is that the flick makes you brood over the quintessential question:  What if you come across yourself one day? What would you say to yourself? Won’t you just go running down on yourself and hug yourself first, and say ‘you love you’? (Just throwing it out there…go easy on yourself!)

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I ended up working late in the office yesterday. Actually, it was planned. With a consensus between me and my project lead, it was decided that I would pump in some extra hours in order to complete a pending job. Yeah, work I did. But I didn’t foresee that I would be all alone.

It was the first time I was all by myself in the office and that too after the sunset. I worked till 8 PM, additional 2 hours, from my usual time of leaving. The peon had switched off the lights, those not required, and so the rest of the cubicles went pitch dark. I hardly cared as I was busy with my work. I had constantly been glaring at the screen, which was unrelenting too. My orbs would hurt. I was feeling the way I used to, when I would sometimes succumb to insomnia. I badly needed a shuteye. I would occasionally get up from my seat, and peek from the window, down at the traffic. The hustle and bustle below kept me company the whole time.

Whenever I would come back to my seat and engage myself in useful work, I would hear the ticking of the clock, occasional honks of the cars below, din of a drilling machine coming from the building next to ours and sometimes loud shrill of something, which my mind would always confuse with heavy breathing. It was spooky. I know it is hard to work in such an environment. It was eerie. Yet there was nothing that really bothered me as such. I guess, time has made me brave, unconcerned and intelligent.

Yet in the back of my mind, all those scenes from the flick ‘The Grudge‘ kept visiting my head. Yeah, remember that office bit? I would occasionally turn around to check the plant which stood in the dark, that had a bizarre resemblance to a human being, when looked from a particular angle. I would tilt my chair occasionally to have a good look at the door in order to eschew any out of the blue surprises. Even if someone tried to play a prank at such an hour, it was still not good for the heart, so I thought.

Amongst all that non-existent commotion, I worked my way through, without getting consciously alarmed of anything mentioned above, and groped for the switch in the dark to turn off the remaining lights.

At this point, I remembered, how as a kid I used to be strangely conscious of everything around me. I would startle at every movement or noise. I wouldn’t go to sleep for hours, wondering if a monster would come up from under my bed and devour me. I would endeavor my best to avoid watching horror shows on TV, so as to shun any formidable memories later at night. There used to be a spot at my balcony, where I would always study unaffected and unaware of my surroundings on a regular basis. I believed it helped me to understand things better, with the view and all. Until one day I saw a horror show on TV. From that point onwards, I wouldn’t even go to my balcony, wondering, “What if a hand comes from behind and grabs me?”

I am glad now sense has slipped in. I ‘now’ desire for miracles. I want them to happen. So that I behold the unusual.

I don’t understand if fear is good or bad. The only thing I get is that, it is there. It has always been there. It is real. Just in different forms, in all of those eras we lived. We have simply named them. Human minds are built this way. We can’t help being apprehensive. We can’t help being afraid of the extraordinary.

We would always be afraid. Sometimes for a reason, sometimes without one. It is one of the harsh truths of life, which I surmise, keeps us in check, all the time.

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I have been meaning to write this for so long. I have been watching ‘creation’ closely. How it pleasures me! How it rejuvenates me! How I feel, I have done something meaningful after an act of creation. Don’t we all jump with joy when we ‘create’?

There is something about creation that enthuses us. While we are in the process, it brings smile to our faces. It is one of the most beautiful feelings on this mundane planet. Glad we never run out of reasons to smile.

Just rein your thought-horses for a while and ask this question, “Why do you think we are here?” There’s gotta be something, that someone wants of us. We are placed deliberately like pawns in a board of chess. We are supposed to move as our master commands. We must follow something. Also our movements are confined. We can’t barge like a rook or gallop like a knight. We are being watched. We can’t escape the chess-pod. There is nothing out there, just death!

What if there is no master up there? What if nobody is playing us? Are we bereft? Are we dropped just because our superiors wish to see us how we behave, without a fixed purpose?

There has to be something remarkable and useful that we are supposed to do. We have been conferred all those Lego blocks (here matter) that we are supposed to play with, who knows what for, could be just to impress our FATHER.

Okay, carrying out a proper introspection of ourselves, we gather the following facts. Here I’ll quickly rant about some of the major body parts meant to incite creation.

  • We have been given hands. Alright! Bam! That’s for creation. Let us use them to build, create and adorn new things.
  • Then there are eyes, which could definitely be meant for perceiving our creation and of course marvel.
  • Ears and mouth would aid a team to communicate while they create, so they share work and eschew burdens.
  • Legs are accorded so that we could move and create things at different locations all across the globe. Just imagine, without legs, how our compilations would pile up and we would fail to acknowledge creation of others.
  • A brain full of thoughts permeates us, so that we never run out of ideas. So far, we have been successful in thinking every possible thought there is. Our ideas will never cease to exist. Our still waters still run deep.
  • Nose to inhale the invigorating fragrance of our artifacts. Also to breathe wonderful aroma of nature’s creation. Don’t we love inhaling the awesome scent of food getting cooked?
  • The act of savoring our creation is taken care of by our rapacious tongue. Let us chew our food properly with our teeth to extract the gist from a morsel and then relish it with the bounty hunter.

If we are here, I am sure it is not just for eating, drinking and sleeping. We are bestowed with hands not just for wiping our ass when we are done.

When I give a good look at my activities, I come up with creation at every step. (Remember this! I am mentioning this not coz of vanity but just to slip you an instance.)

I write.
I cook.
I imagine.
I draw.
I animate.
I paint.
I review.
I code.
I earn.
I learn and produce.
I compose.
I rhyme.
I think.
I fantasize.
I doodle.
I picture.

All of the above mentioned activities are dipped in creation. I love doing them all. Even while you read a book, you create instances and make them happen in your thoughts. You imagine them. It is always the first time with you. It is your thought. It is your creation. Your thoughts might come into synchronization with thoughts of others, but they would still remain yours.

We create at every step. Even if you don’t have any talents, you still create ‘events’. Every day, new events happen. None of the events have ever reiterated. If they have, then you have defeated time.

There is a reason why we are here. Whenever I ask myself the question why, I always end up with one and only one solution : CREATION

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I ended up watching an awesome episode of ‘How the universe works‘ on Discovery Science yesterday. (Don’t judge me just yet! I was only flipping by) There were a bunch of astronomers trying to explain things, we don’t comprehend. (Hasn’t it always been like that?) They would try to simulate scenarios picked up by their droid in space, here on earth, of course, with caution. They seemed like really important people, doing some serious stuff. I must say, I was fascinated beyond limit.

Something about ‘the accidental occurrence of water, due to collision with distant asteroids, causing life to flourish’, was the gist of their discussion and it certainly did dilate my eyes. Eventually while giving closure  the narrator raised a series of unanswered questions, that would forever pound us in the head.

Is there any other planet out there, just like Earth, a planet that retains fitting amount of water and atmosphere enough to sustain life? If earth was created by chance, due to the collision of watery asteroids (that explains water occurrence) and ember-rock caused by sun (that explains the rocky surface) and a proper orbital placement, what are the odds of another Earth, getting created in a similar fashion?

When we give a sneak-peek to the rest of the planets of our solar system, we realize that we are located at an apposite distance from a star, capable enough to obtain enough heat and light to sustain life. Appending to that is Earth’s magnetic field that deflects harmful solar winds coming straight from the unforgiving star. Then there is the ozone layer acting as an aegis. It doesn’t look like chance at all. But the big question that permeates here is, if there is someone supreme, how did ‘His world’ came into existence?

There are zillions of planets out there revolving around gazillions of stars. The possibility of another life form lies in billions of such planets. How great would it be to encounter people from another planet! What if they turn out to be even dumber than we are? What if they are really cool? Do we really visit their world when we dream? Whoa that’s a new one! Yeah, I ponder off sometimes.

I am glad we are able to scale new horizons. People are willing to look for answers. They have the zeal to do so. The zest to end a loop with a reply. With our ability to go inquisitive, we have always groped for answers in the dark. With sci-fi movies, novels, illustrations, comics and thoughts we have always tried to move a step closer towards the unknown and someone or something has permitted it altogether. A great example is the flick Prometheus which managed to prod us deep. It made us think. We would never really rest until our reasoning contents our curiosity.

I feel grateful to be a part of this earth and would always be grateful for it for the rest of my life, as meaning it imparted to my dead life. Easy there, Homer!

We don’t bother sometimes because we are engrossed in our mundane life. We like it here. Cool. Calm. No worries of what’s yonder. But like a great man once said:

You didn’t raise the question. So I didn’t bother look!

Well that great man is me. Oops. Busted.

The show was strangely magnetic. I ended up with goose bumps after watching their awesome CGI work. What Saturn and Jupiter consisted of in reality and what caused Saturn to don its ring on the hip instead of its ring finger, were depicted magnificently.  What elated me more were the assertions made by these guys. They are the ‘Zens’ in real life. They would never stop looking. They would always end up with answers. As the show reached its eventuality, they affirmed and reassured us remarking, mankind would definitely find that other planet, somewhere in the future.

I guess then we would have a neighbor, whom we would bother all the time.  😛