Posts Tagged ‘existence’

pointless

Often found myself, stuck, staring at meaningless images and pointless propaganda that my screen throws at me. Times when I am not around people, not having fun, and smothering myself with tasks that show no direction, I wonder what compelled me to do it in the first place. Zeroing in on to figurative, a bigger picture strays ahead that expunges the obvious.

Why are we doing this? What are we to achieve?

Our every act is directed towards nothingness, just another void where everything fades to incoherence. Makes me wonder we are just getting by. We are waiting for it to get over one day. If at the end of the tunnel, did we stop and look back for introspection, we would be surprised to find out, that all we ever did was breathe and survive. Created mundane, lived mundane, for the mundane. What did we really do?

You see our lives, our paths, have been defined by people all around us. Each road, each street, we traverse, our choices, drenched with decisions laid out by another earthly meaningless soul walking amongst us. That mortal has thrown a certain way in front of our eyes, and unfortunately our legs aren’t ears. They don’t listen. They don’t reason. They just walk.

No better way to put it than Leo Tolstoy:

The only absolute knowledge attainable by man is that life is meaningless.

The moment we saw the light for the first time, we became puppets. People who introduced us to the world taught us roads they have been following. Our judgments permeated in their perspective. From dropping a deuce, to combing our hair, from brushing our teeth to taking a bath, every act tainting of ‘a way’, we are supposed to blindly pursue. We go to school. We try to learn things, we don’t comprehend. We spend years to do that. All that precious time, just following something, since we didn’t really have a purpose then! We just have to, in simpler words, survive. We were too dumb to be able to sustain an era, or too immature to understand life – so the experts say. Well, we still don’t, do we?

We are walking on lines, our society drew. Do we have a goal? Are we supposed to just survive? Is that all?

We are only trying to earn a living. If there is nothing more to life than the intent to survive, why do we even bother? All we have to do is eat, sleep and repeat! Some say – we should give back. If we are to give the world something, let’s say an invention, why do they need it at all, and what for? So that they can live easily? Why is survival the penultimate truth?

What is the point of societal conventions then? Would it really matter if we ran destitute or died rich? Would it matter if we were caught in a perennial gloom or a sustained elation then? Would it matter if we lived our lives with or without regrets?

If we repeat a day, every act in it, inadvertently, who is to say that we lived wrong? Didn’t we just, I don’t know, survive another day? Besides who is to judge? What makes our creator a judge? Did you give us a purpose to live? Then how do you get to decide what we do is right or not? Then again, we didn’t ask for this!

We are simply sentient entities thrown into this planet to breathe.A small brain to delegate our creator’s work unconsciously. We are self-aware robots with lots of questions but with only human reasoning to overwhelm our doubts.

This life is a limbo. We must have been in a better place before. Now we are just living a lie, without a purpose, without a point with just a half-hearted wish to coexist, mostly following blind guys who claim to see.

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I wish to pen you down. My words always find you, just like my thoughts. I can spend days just thinking, such thoughts of beauty, romance and excellence. They get lost when they don’t find a piece of paper. But you cannot be put on a piece of paper. You are infinite. I cannot confine your wonders.

Sometimes I ponder – Should I be ashamed to write you? Should I wonder who is going to read me? Should I really care about the world? I haven’t really given it a thought. But if I don’t mention you, then my leaflets would dry up, because you are important.

You know that I have fallen for you. Not because I am feeble, but because you are strong. Your essence surprises me. Your eyes draw me. Your voice is like music. Your lips play my favorite songs all the time.

I remember an excerpt from my own oeuvre:

You are the story of my life.

I will pen you with sparkling colors.

You don’t have a name yet. Or may be I don’t like naming you. You are in my dreams already. You are playing with me in that dimension. I can see that. The guy in the mirror is happy and I am happy for him.

But every story is tragic. If there are no stones, I am not walking on the right path. Right? I have got rocks rolling. I am there, yet I am not there. My rivals keep hitting me, and I keep falling to the ground. I simply defend. I don’t take a stand. I don’t have a reason to throw a punch. I don’t know my enemy. I don’t know whom to fight. You haven’t given me a reason to.

I can fight anyone, if you are by my side. But you stand in the center with unsure steps written all over you.

I see the wall, the invisible one. That is the only thing that stops me from you. I can knock it down. But you like it all strong and sturdy. So I keep mum.

Still I will jot you down every now and then. Not because I have to, but because I want to. You make me want to write. You force my thoughts to flow. You put them to words. I am glad that you do, coz writing is something I can’t part with.

I am grateful that you happened because your mere presence gave me thoughts and words. Your existence… your existence simply carves out the better writer in me.

Image

I ended up watching an awesome episode of ‘How the universe works‘ on Discovery Science yesterday. (Don’t judge me just yet! I was only flipping by) There were a bunch of astronomers trying to explain things, we don’t comprehend. (Hasn’t it always been like that?) They would try to simulate scenarios picked up by their droid in space, here on earth, of course, with caution. They seemed like really important people, doing some serious stuff. I must say, I was fascinated beyond limit.

Something about ‘the accidental occurrence of water, due to collision with distant asteroids, causing life to flourish’, was the gist of their discussion and it certainly did dilate my eyes. Eventually while giving closure  the narrator raised a series of unanswered questions, that would forever pound us in the head.

Is there any other planet out there, just like Earth, a planet that retains fitting amount of water and atmosphere enough to sustain life? If earth was created by chance, due to the collision of watery asteroids (that explains water occurrence) and ember-rock caused by sun (that explains the rocky surface) and a proper orbital placement, what are the odds of another Earth, getting created in a similar fashion?

When we give a sneak-peek to the rest of the planets of our solar system, we realize that we are located at an apposite distance from a star, capable enough to obtain enough heat and light to sustain life. Appending to that is Earth’s magnetic field that deflects harmful solar winds coming straight from the unforgiving star. Then there is the ozone layer acting as an aegis. It doesn’t look like chance at all. But the big question that permeates here is, if there is someone supreme, how did ‘His world’ came into existence?

There are zillions of planets out there revolving around gazillions of stars. The possibility of another life form lies in billions of such planets. How great would it be to encounter people from another planet! What if they turn out to be even dumber than we are? What if they are really cool? Do we really visit their world when we dream? Whoa that’s a new one! Yeah, I ponder off sometimes.

I am glad we are able to scale new horizons. People are willing to look for answers. They have the zeal to do so. The zest to end a loop with a reply. With our ability to go inquisitive, we have always groped for answers in the dark. With sci-fi movies, novels, illustrations, comics and thoughts we have always tried to move a step closer towards the unknown and someone or something has permitted it altogether. A great example is the flick Prometheus which managed to prod us deep. It made us think. We would never really rest until our reasoning contents our curiosity.

I feel grateful to be a part of this earth and would always be grateful for it for the rest of my life, as meaning it imparted to my dead life. Easy there, Homer!

We don’t bother sometimes because we are engrossed in our mundane life. We like it here. Cool. Calm. No worries of what’s yonder. But like a great man once said:

You didn’t raise the question. So I didn’t bother look!

Well that great man is me. Oops. Busted.

The show was strangely magnetic. I ended up with goose bumps after watching their awesome CGI work. What Saturn and Jupiter consisted of in reality and what caused Saturn to don its ring on the hip instead of its ring finger, were depicted magnificently.  What elated me more were the assertions made by these guys. They are the ‘Zens’ in real life. They would never stop looking. They would always end up with answers. As the show reached its eventuality, they affirmed and reassured us remarking, mankind would definitely find that other planet, somewhere in the future.

I guess then we would have a neighbor, whom we would bother all the time.  😛