Posts Tagged ‘fear’

The Perpendicular Universe Man In A Bottle
What is your biggest fear? Have you ever tried to slow down your high-paced life for a while and wasted a thought on the aforesaid? What are you afraid of? I don’t want your answer to be mere literal. I don’t want it to circle sheer material. Of course, you are afraid of cockroaches and lizards. But what I implore is something more significant. I want the meaningful you to give it a proper scrutiny. Just spend a thought. Brood over it. Slow down for a bit. Sit down for a while. Wear your thinking cap. Squeeze some time for yourself and think!

Aren’t you afraid of passing away incomplete? That one day death visits you out of the blue and you realize that you haven’t lived, and that you expected more from life? What if you hear the death knell tomorrow and you discern that there was a deed in you dying for an action, something you really wanted to do but couldn’t get enough time to sign it off?

Does it shatter you to know that you haven’t really done anything in your life? That you have been trying to simply earn the greens hitherto to just make a living? That all you did was a mere waste of your time? And that whatever you achieved so far didn’t matter at all? Does it hurt to know that you don’t really have any talents? That the word ‘talent’ simply betrays your distortion?

How does it feel to know that things left unsaid could have actually resurrected you from dead? What if the moments that you had let go inadvertently, were actually the ones you should have seized to get rid of the emptiness you feel?

Aren’t you afraid of disappearing in thin air? That one day people would forget you like you never existed? There wouldn’t be any stories sung or songs written in your name. That your existence wouldn’t garner fame? That your life would simply hammer into the ordinary?

Are you not afraid of not finding out your purpose in life? Doesn’t that bum you out? Not knowing the reason of your existence? Embracing the death hug with wool over your eyes? That you were conceived in darkness and that in the end, the same darkness is going to swallow you?

Are you not afraid of being locked up on this planet? Does it not bother you? That you can’t get out? What if the truth of it all is so excruciating that it shatters you to million pieces? Knowing the truth, is it not going to affect you? Don’t you have myriad expectations? What will happen to those stereotypes that you have been spoon fed by earthlings then?

My biggest fear is dying without being understood. Knowing that I shall perish without someone getting me implodes me. How pitiful that is! What a tragedy!

I am afraid that I might perish unbloomed. That something despicable will accidentally swallow me, chew me and spit me out without knowing my worth. I am afraid of dying unheard. That my shrieking voice would not make it anywhere. I am afraid that I might fall with this emptiness in my guts and that I would take it to my grave. I am afraid that my coffin would feel empty even with my dead presence. It bothers me to know that my dead would reek of death and not of a life lived.


Following words might change the way you have been sipping life as you know it. Taking in as it hits you, just breathing is what you have been doing so far. No second thoughts, no contemplation, no brooding, no searching for the right way, just running after the bland old conventional bookish ways that taught you how to live and how to be successful without specifics. For some, well, this has nothing new to offer. Some of you already know the apparent. Slapping you with the obvious isn’t my intent, but to see if it clicks for you as well and that it shows you the way to a pinnacle in every frigging area, is. If it does, it will make this theory intact and invincible.

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you, a theory, created from personal experience, manufactured from numerous word exchanges with my brother that entailed a lot of brooding right ‘neath the stars at night, sometimes on a sleep deprived bed, built sometimes with impromptu reasoning emanated from a corny conversation, but a theory so effective that I guaran-damn-tee works all the time. I call it ‘The Theory of Confidence’. Tan Tan naaaaaaaaan. (I hereby request my musician to just drop it!)

Here goes the theory:

Any activity or task carried out without a glint of fear, doubt or cowardice, with conviction, bravery and confidence, is going to work out for you causing you to succeed.

Let us dig into it right away.

Fear is your enemy

Fear is one of the penultimate truths which I declare as the blunt nemesis of this theory, hands down. Name any work you take in your hand, any situation, any talk, any debate, any little thing that you are afraid to do, where fear is the primate predator of your consciousness, you would definitely end up failing. If you tremble whilst talking, fidget in doing a job, fumble in your fear-ridden activity, you would be surprised to find that the job at hand is gradually making you lose. You would inadvertently end up into the gloomy side. However, if you nailed it somehow even in the presence of fear, it was because of that flickering light of hope that caused you to diminish your scary quotient.

True for all areas in life. Do not be afraid! Stay strong. Bitch-slap fear in the face!

Stay away from doubt

Eschew apprehension. If you worry about what is going to happen, it is simply going to toss your win into an abyss of lost players. Worrying is another form of fear. Dubitation is just another name we give to fidgeting. A subset of fear.

Don’t let it destroy your big deal. Be sure of the thing in question.

Live in the present

One uncanny habit of ours – Teleporting into the future to see the outcome. The ability to think also leads us to the ability to think too much. A recess in our brain that just takes us into thousands of alternate realities. Our brain starts creating possibilities and drifts us away from the present causing us to lose focus. Whilst the outcome of a situation in hand could have been the simplest, our mind takes us on a never-ending joyride and we go Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Stop it! Stop creating results even before they happen. In case you can’t help it, simply behold yourself winning. Don’t let any other thought mess with your brain.

Be cocksure about yourself

Thousands of situations go kaput owing to you not being sure about yourself. Not believing in yourself impregnates doubt. This again pushes you toward failure. If you doubt yourself you are giving rise to fear involuntarily. Afraid that you might not be able to cross that finishing line, thinking less of yourself, not able to fly that high, ‘wouldn’t be able to make it’ are all signs of doubting yourself.

Be cocksure! You have the capability to do anything in this world. Anything! We are built that way. Make the most of it. Any challenging task that mocks you in your face, you can surmount it by being sure about your will. Next time if someone asks if you can do it, stare at them sharp and reply, “I can do anything.”

Find your confidence booster

What boosts your confidence? Look for things in life that makes you really confident. For me, the magic was clothes. Like if I was wearing something really good, one good look in the mirror and I felt confidence beaming me up into cloud nine. Things that emanated therefrom would always go uphill. I would keep getting things done then, win all day and feel like I am on a roll. Then again if something wasn’t right with my clothes, I would be a meek dog all day and wait for every situation to die out somehow so that I could go home and sleep.

Your confidence booster could be anything ranging from something as petty as a smile to something crucial as money or seeing a person, thing or a pet you love. Look for the thing that opens you up and turns you on. Your day shalt be made.

Knowing what you are doing

The above adage shouts loud enough. If you are doing something you don’t comprehend, it simply gives way to doubts, further allowing timidity to usher in. You will become victim to indifference and in the process lose mettle. Failure will find you and will kill you. (It already knows where you are!)

Make sure you know your thing. If something baffles you up, go to ground zero and start again. Ensure you poke at the rudimentary and show your doubt a way towards enlightenment.

Redo things and encourage moderation

How often have you felt concerned, agitated and worried while doing a thing for the first time? The first time of everything is a challenge. You don’t know what is going to come or how things are going to pan out. You have a surreal heartbeat that just doesn’t make sense. You are confused because of the lack of knowledge. You ask people for directions. You ask them what needs to be done.

But once acquainted, if you revisit the dilemma, you would be surprised to find out that the thing you were afraid of was nothing. It wasn’t at all a big deal. Your mind projected glimpses that were untrue the first time, and whilst redoing it, you have unknowingly garnered a new sense of courage because of the acquaintance.

If you are afraid of a situation, just take the leap of faith and jump in. Overdo it to let confidence seep in you. Known places, known faces, known situations, known formula, known solutions are all going to brim your glass up with conviction.

As the quote from Lone Survivor teaches us:

Anything in life worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderation is for cowards.

Repeat any such activity to gain audacity just as the cliché rightly gawks at your face:

Practice makes a man perfect.


The following words might not be morally right but unfortunately true:

Conscience, morality and ethics are products of mankind. Nothing is truly wrong if there is no regret. Even a lie isn’t truly a lie, if said with conviction. If it weren’t so, why does a lying man then escape judgement?

Nothing matters on this planet but sheer pluck. A world built on how steady one’s thoughts are. How incessant the stream is. If I lie with ‘confidence’, it would end up annexing the truth.

This is how we are left out here on earth – Alone. Shattered. Scared. We look for a wayfarer to lead us to our destination. We are all too lazy to follow anything. Conventions that our forefathers created are like spoons that came to feed us and who doesn’t like to be fed?

It is a world of nerves. The lack of nerves is fear, and fear inches you toward chaos. If you want a job done, just face its related fears and embrace confidence.


I ended up working late in the office yesterday. Actually, it was planned. With a consensus between me and my project lead, it was decided that I would pump in some extra hours in order to complete a pending job. Yeah, work I did. But I didn’t foresee that I would be all alone.

It was the first time I was all by myself in the office and that too after the sunset. I worked till 8 PM, additional 2 hours, from my usual time of leaving. The peon had switched off the lights, those not required, and so the rest of the cubicles went pitch dark. I hardly cared as I was busy with my work. I had constantly been glaring at the screen, which was unrelenting too. My orbs would hurt. I was feeling the way I used to, when I would sometimes succumb to insomnia. I badly needed a shuteye. I would occasionally get up from my seat, and peek from the window, down at the traffic. The hustle and bustle below kept me company the whole time.

Whenever I would come back to my seat and engage myself in useful work, I would hear the ticking of the clock, occasional honks of the cars below, din of a drilling machine coming from the building next to ours and sometimes loud shrill of something, which my mind would always confuse with heavy breathing. It was spooky. I know it is hard to work in such an environment. It was eerie. Yet there was nothing that really bothered me as such. I guess, time has made me brave, unconcerned and intelligent.

Yet in the back of my mind, all those scenes from the flick ‘The Grudge‘ kept visiting my head. Yeah, remember that office bit? I would occasionally turn around to check the plant which stood in the dark, that had a bizarre resemblance to a human being, when looked from a particular angle. I would tilt my chair occasionally to have a good look at the door in order to eschew any out of the blue surprises. Even if someone tried to play a prank at such an hour, it was still not good for the heart, so I thought.

Amongst all that non-existent commotion, I worked my way through, without getting consciously alarmed of anything mentioned above, and groped for the switch in the dark to turn off the remaining lights.

At this point, I remembered, how as a kid I used to be strangely conscious of everything around me. I would startle at every movement or noise. I wouldn’t go to sleep for hours, wondering if a monster would come up from under my bed and devour me. I would endeavor my best to avoid watching horror shows on TV, so as to shun any formidable memories later at night. There used to be a spot at my balcony, where I would always study unaffected and unaware of my surroundings on a regular basis. I believed it helped me to understand things better, with the view and all. Until one day I saw a horror show on TV. From that point onwards, I wouldn’t even go to my balcony, wondering, “What if a hand comes from behind and grabs me?”

I am glad now sense has slipped in. I ‘now’ desire for miracles. I want them to happen. So that I behold the unusual.

I don’t understand if fear is good or bad. The only thing I get is that, it is there. It has always been there. It is real. Just in different forms, in all of those eras we lived. We have simply named them. Human minds are built this way. We can’t help being apprehensive. We can’t help being afraid of the extraordinary.

We would always be afraid. Sometimes for a reason, sometimes without one. It is one of the harsh truths of life, which I surmise, keeps us in check, all the time.