Posts Tagged ‘mirror’

The Perpendicular Universe unfinished

Been a while, I haven’t penned anything on these leaves. I have been lost in the humdrum of the mundane. A job that sucks me in, and eats away my precious hours. Takes me away from the world of writing. But these special leaflets are always there. In the backdrop of my head. Silently calling me. Making me feel the void. Trying to make its presence felt. Then life manages to put me in front of the screen somehow, as if the croons of this blog get heard.

I wish to press these leaves with only the best. Maybe that’s what takes a lot of time. To only fill the easel with quality work. My brother had asked me to keep it as a wont, when I am in the right zone. To him it is one of my best collections hitherto, a magnum opus weaved with a keen wisdom. I intend to keep it that way. It lets me unspool myself, the real me, into validation. An introspection of sorts that might reflect the real me to a reader if there is one at all.

Today, I am squeezed into work so much that this blog stays hidden from me. I distribute myself to others, so much that I forget my own identity. But this right here, this, lets me appreciate myself. When I take a step back to look at it, I realize it is nothing but my mirror. It lets me behold the real me. It lets me fathom myself more. Words smeared on these blanks tell me that I am different. It lets me dig deeper into a head of a writer, a poet who is insanely in love with words, with a brain uplifted and a head that reeks of beautiful and sentient thoughts.

What is unfortunate is the fact that he barely has time to cover ‘em all. There is so much beauty yet to read, so many wonderful people yet to encounter, so many experiences yet to experience, so much land yet to cover, so much love yet to shower, so many unknown faces yet to scan, so many enthralling creations yet to marvel at, and there are so many gorgeous thoughts in his skull still embryonic, veiled, that can only unfurl with time. It’s a shame that it’s running out.

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So I came across an excellent movie the other day. Can’t believe I had missed it for so long. The concept just blew me away.

The flick titled ‘Another Earth’ directed by Mike Cahill saw one of the most creative artist-cum-writers Brit Marling in its lead. She plays a girl with a terrible past, trying really hard for forgiveness, except her repentance is incessantly screwing things up. Okay so, I would try to avoid spoilers for the sake of movie-buffs.

The event that happens at the very beginning of the flick is so sad and tragic, that it is impossible for her to get it out of her system. She keeps thinking about it every single day. The pain is so depressing, and quite apparent on her countenance, it instantly makes you empathize with her. It is as if she has lost her purpose in the mundane. She is so bent on undoing what has occurred that she is willing to do anything. The irony lies in the fact that there is an opportunity right there, staring down at her from a distance, in the form of another Earth.

The beautiful planet which resembles Earth in every aspect is forever there in the movie, making people wonder a lot of ifs and whats. People in the movie call it Earth 2. It piques the interest of Brit owing to those possibilities and what-ifs she has been beating herself about. It could be another dimension. It could be another possibility of her life’s events.

So, basically there are two stories running simultaneously. Both interrelated because of the tragic event that compels Brit to behold Earth 2 as a chance to absolve herself. She plays her character so subtly that it makes you read all those thoughts that are running through her head at every moment, throughout the flick.

There are some brilliant quotes in the movie that make you ponder.

Within our lifetimes, we’ve marveled as biologists have managed to look at ever smaller and smaller things. And astronomers have looked further and further into the dark night sky, back in time and out in space. But maybe the most mysterious of all is neither the small nor the large: it’s us, up close. Could we even recognize ourselves, and if we did, would we know ourselves? What would we say to ourselves? What would we learn from ourselves? What would we really like to see if we could stand outside ourselves and look at us?

The moment when everyone finds out the planet is an exact mirror image of our Earth fills your head with bazillion questions. (So long spoilers!) What would probably blow your mind is the fact that there is an exact ‘you’ who was born, where you were born, who has lived, where you have lived and who might be wondering the exact same questions on finding out about you. Nobody knows the answers to what lies yonder. Yet everybody is curious for answers because everyone is living stories they would want to live differently.

Just when you are about to feel Brit’s penitence is falling into place, the movie ends at a surreal juncture. The climax makes you wonder. You would end up with so many questions and probably with solutions too.

The most important thing is that the flick makes you brood over the quintessential question:  What if you come across yourself one day? What would you say to yourself? Won’t you just go running down on yourself and hug yourself first, and say ‘you love you’? (Just throwing it out there…go easy on yourself!)

I wish to pen you down. My words always find you, just like my thoughts. I can spend days just thinking, such thoughts of beauty, romance and excellence. They get lost when they don’t find a piece of paper. But you cannot be put on a piece of paper. You are infinite. I cannot confine your wonders.

Sometimes I ponder – Should I be ashamed to write you? Should I wonder who is going to read me? Should I really care about the world? I haven’t really given it a thought. But if I don’t mention you, then my leaflets would dry up, because you are important.

You know that I have fallen for you. Not because I am feeble, but because you are strong. Your essence surprises me. Your eyes draw me. Your voice is like music. Your lips play my favorite songs all the time.

I remember an excerpt from my own oeuvre:

You are the story of my life.

I will pen you with sparkling colors.

You don’t have a name yet. Or may be I don’t like naming you. You are in my dreams already. You are playing with me in that dimension. I can see that. The guy in the mirror is happy and I am happy for him.

But every story is tragic. If there are no stones, I am not walking on the right path. Right? I have got rocks rolling. I am there, yet I am not there. My rivals keep hitting me, and I keep falling to the ground. I simply defend. I don’t take a stand. I don’t have a reason to throw a punch. I don’t know my enemy. I don’t know whom to fight. You haven’t given me a reason to.

I can fight anyone, if you are by my side. But you stand in the center with unsure steps written all over you.

I see the wall, the invisible one. That is the only thing that stops me from you. I can knock it down. But you like it all strong and sturdy. So I keep mum.

Still I will jot you down every now and then. Not because I have to, but because I want to. You make me want to write. You force my thoughts to flow. You put them to words. I am glad that you do, coz writing is something I can’t part with.

I am grateful that you happened because your mere presence gave me thoughts and words. Your existence… your existence simply carves out the better writer in me.