Posts Tagged ‘universe’

image of how to remove a bad teacher

Sometimes I think every failure we encounter is nature’s way of warning us, its way of adjusting us, putting us on the scanner once again till we find a better path. Maybe where we were headed in the first place wasn’t supposed to be our destiny, and that universe furled itself knocking us out of our elusive surefire resolve, asking us to do something else altogether. In a way correcting our moves with its very own ‘Reset’ button.

When you begin to do something that is in line with nature’s big plan for you, you will find yourself succeeding at every juncture. The Universe drops you hints right from the beginning saying:

“You were good at this. Why don’t you keep doing it? You will succeed all the way. You will keep getting results.”

To exemplify it better I could array it with my very own chords – Writing was my first affair. And the reason I consider it my ultimate salvation is owing to all those clues I received growing up. It was inbred in the form of emotions, and it gradually straddled out with my instant love for literature. I swooned over it and lost my heart somewhere between its words.

My first official letter I wrote had my heart out on an application leaf. I was quite young, yet brainy in a way. Its subject read: “Complaint to Remove a Bad Teacher.” It gushed with emotions, pointing out everything that was terribly wrong with the teacher who did everything but teach. It traversed meaning of life, our existence and what not. It digressed a little with lines like: “Children are supposed to be the future.” etc. Pah!

The counselor who had picked it, was giggling stupefied, wondering how could a small child be writing big words for his age. I laughed along with her, believing I was stupid too. But to my surprise it was acted upon, taken seriously. And so began an unending regime of getting things done via letters. Every time I wrote one, the response was always good. Either an action would be taken or my wants would be positively satiated.

My convincing letter was the first inkling I got that had me believe, nature wanted me to write more, that it was nothing but a mere pen and a paper that would get the job done for me. I distinctly remember thinking out loud reassuringly saying, “I write convincing letters!” I would often boast about it – “If you want something done let it pass through the mouth of my letter.” Surprisingly the results were always positive and in the favour of my words.

Those letters took a more tangible form when I began enjoying what I had written at a later stage by rereading them in future. That it was a product of my head made me extremely euphoric and satisfied. I would turn the pages around to read an old written account and would marvel at myself wondering,

“How did I manage that?”

With that it became more than a wont, now my life; my only resounding satisfaction when I pen one good.

Somewhere deep down I think those letters were responsible for hammering that nail in me unknowingly, and for that I am really grateful. It has made me the writer I was born to be. I surmise, it has paved the path that Universe had for me all along.

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image of a child dreaming underneath a starry sky

I wish my life could be as erratic as Charles Bukowski changed jobs in Factotum. To be able to quit apathy as it gnaws upon my soul. How magnificent life would be! To be able to do anything, absolutely anything just for the heck of it. To feel everything, to experience wonders that nature and man have so eloquently curdled all across this planet. There are so many exciting things to do, so many dreams to pursue and so many lives to live. Unfortunately, all have been classified under the categorical pigeonholes of life. It is really sad that we have to find our place in the world, when we could explore untended territories like beasts from the past.

Oh! The thrill! The sheer thrill of it to run down that meadow of promised elation. Image the possibilities your life would throw at you then. Try this! Try that! Try everything! To be able to call quits the moment you feel indifference sneaking up on you. To be utterly unpredictable in what’s imminent. Isn’t that the dream?

I think everything in life boils down to moving on; not stopping and becoming stagnant at a place. Growing up I have seen change, a constant cumulative spinning wheel of augmentations that never ceases to exist at any juncture. Maybe I see myself smothered by life’s torpor today, but tomorrow might sway in winds of change. With that hope, I bide by slithering into my persuasive indolence. I let time kill me.

I wreck myself beyond limit, knowing that I am surefire debris in the making. A labour so impossible that I could only take so much. Yet I am at it, forever at it, looking at dreams like a child wondering his thoughts out loud at the night sky.

I wait patiently, listening to the ticking of the clock, giving more than what my body can give or endure, waiting for that change to come. That elusive big break where the universe nods at me and lets me be everything all at once in this stock-still life.

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I ended up watching an awesome episode of ‘How the universe works‘ on Discovery Science yesterday. (Don’t judge me just yet! I was only flipping by) There were a bunch of astronomers trying to explain things, we don’t comprehend. (Hasn’t it always been like that?) They would try to simulate scenarios picked up by their droid in space, here on earth, of course, with caution. They seemed like really important people, doing some serious stuff. I must say, I was fascinated beyond limit.

Something about ‘the accidental occurrence of water, due to collision with distant asteroids, causing life to flourish’, was the gist of their discussion and it certainly did dilate my eyes. Eventually while giving closure  the narrator raised a series of unanswered questions, that would forever pound us in the head.

Is there any other planet out there, just like Earth, a planet that retains fitting amount of water and atmosphere enough to sustain life? If earth was created by chance, due to the collision of watery asteroids (that explains water occurrence) and ember-rock caused by sun (that explains the rocky surface) and a proper orbital placement, what are the odds of another Earth, getting created in a similar fashion?

When we give a sneak-peek to the rest of the planets of our solar system, we realize that we are located at an apposite distance from a star, capable enough to obtain enough heat and light to sustain life. Appending to that is Earth’s magnetic field that deflects harmful solar winds coming straight from the unforgiving star. Then there is the ozone layer acting as an aegis. It doesn’t look like chance at all. But the big question that permeates here is, if there is someone supreme, how did ‘His world’ came into existence?

There are zillions of planets out there revolving around gazillions of stars. The possibility of another life form lies in billions of such planets. How great would it be to encounter people from another planet! What if they turn out to be even dumber than we are? What if they are really cool? Do we really visit their world when we dream? Whoa that’s a new one! Yeah, I ponder off sometimes.

I am glad we are able to scale new horizons. People are willing to look for answers. They have the zeal to do so. The zest to end a loop with a reply. With our ability to go inquisitive, we have always groped for answers in the dark. With sci-fi movies, novels, illustrations, comics and thoughts we have always tried to move a step closer towards the unknown and someone or something has permitted it altogether. A great example is the flick Prometheus which managed to prod us deep. It made us think. We would never really rest until our reasoning contents our curiosity.

I feel grateful to be a part of this earth and would always be grateful for it for the rest of my life, as meaning it imparted to my dead life. Easy there, Homer!

We don’t bother sometimes because we are engrossed in our mundane life. We like it here. Cool. Calm. No worries of what’s yonder. But like a great man once said:

You didn’t raise the question. So I didn’t bother look!

Well that great man is me. Oops. Busted.

The show was strangely magnetic. I ended up with goose bumps after watching their awesome CGI work. What Saturn and Jupiter consisted of in reality and what caused Saturn to don its ring on the hip instead of its ring finger, were depicted magnificently.  What elated me more were the assertions made by these guys. They are the ‘Zens’ in real life. They would never stop looking. They would always end up with answers. As the show reached its eventuality, they affirmed and reassured us remarking, mankind would definitely find that other planet, somewhere in the future.

I guess then we would have a neighbor, whom we would bother all the time.  😛

I’ve seen you so many times now. I am losing track. Your memories are getting stronger. Instead of getting hazy, they are going conspicuous. Very unusual but I’ve forgotten everything bad about you now. Love does that to you, I guess.

Yesterday I had a dream. I am not sure why. But I saw you once again. All this time, I had stopped thinking about you. You would be there, but I would overlook. I would see all those other things in my life that would bring smile to my face. I would try my best to eschew you or any of your thought that would cause a chemical imbalance in my head. But the dream happened, as if happening in a parallel universe in reality. It being a different universe altogether, I am not sure I remember much. But I do remember one thing for sure. It was you.

Here’s what I dreamt: (an excerpt from my personal diary of dreams, Yeah! not real)

I was busy chatting with my friends and having fun, when out of the blue she appeared from mist and stood next to me. Just like Mal in Inception, she appeared like a strong memory. I can still remember her face woeful with miserable written all over it. Strange but I’ve always pictured her that way. I’ve never had a dream wherein I’ve seen her smiling or even happy. She looked really sad. She pointed, “You forgot me na!” and with a pang in my heart I realized within seconds that it was true. For a couple of months I haven’t had a single thought of her. Not a single dream about her. I had finally surmounted my heart until, of course, now. How did she find her way to me? I thought, “I had really forgotten her for a while.” I felt this sudden urge, a strange urge to apologize to her and to set things right again. She started to wither then. Like dreams are meant to be. Unpredictable. I tried calling her. She picked up but she was still adamant, like she was six years ago, in that coffee place. She kept on giving assertions, “You’ve forgotten me. Yes! You have!” I was speechless, once again, choking. I kept saying to her, “Listen to me. Listen to me at least!” and the phone died.

I woke up. I tried to forget what I saw. I carried out my routine, just like any other jaded day. It was only in the afternoon when I saw you once again, your picture on the famous social networking site. Smiling in one of them. Weary in another. The weary one got me strangely attracted. I got this sudden urge to pick you up in my arms, you cuddling towards safety finding your way in my bosom and me saying, “My baby! Come here and get some sleep.”

I couldn’t help but click on your pictures. Something I barred my heart from doing all these years, because I know my heart is weak. It succumbs to you every now and then. I went through all of them. My mind would, meanwhile, talk to me sanely like, “Why are you doing this?” and my heart would confront it, “I don’t care. I am just so human!” My hands were involuntary. They kept on flipping every page. I let go those tears I was never fond of keeping.

Life is a tragedy. No matter how happy you are. I always thought of myself as a happy guy. But these thoughts of you, make me feel otherwise. I get a feeling, that I would never, ever be really happy without you by my side.

You are like a drug to me and I am addicted. Yet you or not dead and I am not really alive.