Posts Tagged ‘voice’

The Perpendicular Universe Man In A Bottle
What is your biggest fear? Have you ever tried to slow down your high-paced life for a while and wasted a thought on the aforesaid? What are you afraid of? I don’t want your answer to be mere literal. I don’t want it to circle sheer material. Of course, you are afraid of cockroaches and lizards. But what I implore is something more significant. I want the meaningful you to give it a proper scrutiny. Just spend a thought. Brood over it. Slow down for a bit. Sit down for a while. Wear your thinking cap. Squeeze some time for yourself and think!

Aren’t you afraid of passing away incomplete? That one day death visits you out of the blue and you realize that you haven’t lived, and that you expected more from life? What if you hear the death knell tomorrow and you discern that there was a deed in you dying for an action, something you really wanted to do but couldn’t get enough time to sign it off?

Does it shatter you to know that you haven’t really done anything in your life? That you have been trying to simply earn the greens hitherto to just make a living? That all you did was a mere waste of your time? And that whatever you achieved so far didn’t matter at all? Does it hurt to know that you don’t really have any talents? That the word ‘talent’ simply betrays your distortion?

How does it feel to know that things left unsaid could have actually resurrected you from dead? What if the moments that you had let go inadvertently, were actually the ones you should have seized to get rid of the emptiness you feel?

Aren’t you afraid of disappearing in thin air? That one day people would forget you like you never existed? There wouldn’t be any stories sung or songs written in your name. That your existence wouldn’t garner fame? That your life would simply hammer into the ordinary?

Are you not afraid of not finding out your purpose in life? Doesn’t that bum you out? Not knowing the reason of your existence? Embracing the death hug with wool over your eyes? That you were conceived in darkness and that in the end, the same darkness is going to swallow you?

Are you not afraid of being locked up on this planet? Does it not bother you? That you can’t get out? What if the truth of it all is so excruciating that it shatters you to million pieces? Knowing the truth, is it not going to affect you? Don’t you have myriad expectations? What will happen to those stereotypes that you have been spoon fed by earthlings then?

My biggest fear is dying without being understood. Knowing that I shall perish without someone getting me implodes me. How pitiful that is! What a tragedy!

I am afraid that I might perish unbloomed. That something despicable will accidentally swallow me, chew me and spit me out without knowing my worth. I am afraid of dying unheard. That my shrieking voice would not make it anywhere. I am afraid that I might fall with this emptiness in my guts and that I would take it to my grave. I am afraid that my coffin would feel empty even with my dead presence. It bothers me to know that my dead would reek of death and not of a life lived.

Advertisements

Image

Okay so I puked. For like real.

We went to an amusement park. Truth: I wasn’t amused. Others were. I really don’t understand how easily I give in. I regret it, ‘after’ doing it.

I am not into joy rides. I am not made for that. Not my department. All I remember doing that day, was screaming, at the top of my voice, like a girl. In my defense I would say, I faced it all like a brave man, only with frequent screams of horror.

I would always say no to begin with, and end up doing it just to give company to my little sisters. I didn’t want to disappoint them so I ended up disappointing myself instead. Boy it was all horror, staring back at me and he was like, “Yeah I was waiting for you. I’ll spoil your guts now. You shouldn’t have had breakfast dumbass. I’ll show you who the real boss is.” Meanwhile, I was like, “Mommmmmmmmmy!”

My brother kept telling me to try the boat. My sisters insisted. With constant blathering going on in the background, I involuntarily created an image of a real boat with oars and some water beneath to row on.

My inquisitiveness was duped big time, when I discovered it was a dragon-boat swinging like a pendulum, staring back at me. Images from the past started haunting me. I remembered that thing. I had been a passenger once, in that creature before. It didn’t end well. Then again, I was a kid then.

Anyways, with dilated eyes, I started reckoning my other options. However, I wish I shouldn’t have manifested any ventures.

This could’ve been the scenario:

I looked back at all the rides. They all were fallen. Vanquished. One of the roller coaster rides didn’t even stand a chance. It never saw me coming. I had lanced it before it picked its sword. Those toy cars had never met such a rash driver. They had never been drifted like that before. Some of the rides were puny enough for my minions to handle. I didn’t even look at them. They were dead already.

I beheld the dragon once again. This is the last one, I thought. “I can’t go home without taming YOU bitch. I have come too far to return. I am away from home. I don’t know if there would be any return. The battle might turn fiery and deadly. I wouldn’t abscond. I wouldn’t leave without slaying you.” I thought, “What the hell?”

I rode the dragon with all my might. The pressure was immense. All hell broke loose. Fire was everywhere. The last one is always the toughest, so I thought. I got bruised. The dragon fire blazed my neck. But my heart was still pumping. Adrenaline gushing. I was waiting for the right moment. Exhaustion engulfed the beast slowly. Eventually the dragon subdued. It was then when I struck like lightning and tore the creature open.

Interesting, huh? Too good to be true.

Here’s the non-fiction version:

One of the roller coaster rides had no attendees so we skipped it. (This explains the ‘never-saw-me-coming’ part :P) The car ride was okay. Nothing real. Some rides were so scary that I screamed at the mere sight of them. So I decided not to make a fool out of myself. I let my brother and sisters ride them instead (my minions). I was ‘compelled’ to sit in that demonic boat. My sisters literally pulled me into the heart of the dragon. I kept my eyes closed all the time. Opened my orbs once, when instigated. My head started spinning. As the boat was about to stop, I puked like a mad man. Not on people (Just relax!). The burning sensation in my neck lasted for hours. So it wasn’t a happy ending exactly.

Yeah! I am a wimp.