Posts Tagged ‘world’

The Perpendicular Universe unfinished

Been a while, I haven’t penned anything on these leaves. I have been lost in the humdrum of the mundane. A job that sucks me in, and eats away my precious hours. Takes me away from the world of writing. But these special leaflets are always there. In the backdrop of my head. Silently calling me. Making me feel the void. Trying to make its presence felt. Then life manages to put me in front of the screen somehow, as if the croons of this blog get heard.

I wish to press these leaves with only the best. Maybe that’s what takes a lot of time. To only fill the easel with quality work. My brother had asked me to keep it as a wont, when I am in the right zone. To him it is one of my best collections hitherto, a magnum opus weaved with a keen wisdom. I intend to keep it that way. It lets me unspool myself, the real me, into validation. An introspection of sorts that might reflect the real me to a reader if there is one at all.

Today, I am squeezed into work so much that this blog stays hidden from me. I distribute myself to others, so much that I forget my own identity. But this right here, this, lets me appreciate myself. When I take a step back to look at it, I realize it is nothing but my mirror. It lets me behold the real me. It lets me fathom myself more. Words smeared on these blanks tell me that I am different. It lets me dig deeper into a head of a writer, a poet who is insanely in love with words, with a brain uplifted and a head that reeks of beautiful and sentient thoughts.

What is unfortunate is the fact that he barely has time to cover ‘em all. There is so much beauty yet to read, so many wonderful people yet to encounter, so many experiences yet to experience, so much land yet to cover, so much love yet to shower, so many unknown faces yet to scan, so many enthralling creations yet to marvel at, and there are so many gorgeous thoughts in his skull still embryonic, veiled, that can only unfurl with time. It’s a shame that it’s running out.

The perpendicular universe no hands

The world around me is crumbling. People are falling down. Breaking bad. Failing. Collapsing. Ending up in beds. Twitched. Contorted. Distorted. Disfigured. Bleeding.

Whilst all of this is happening, I am right there in their center, standing, watching them go down. My eyes read disbelief. Looking at them go down. One by one. I feel helpless. As if I am a plague. A dreadful contagious one. Wherever I go, birds drop dead. The globe darkens. The sun slips into an eclipse. Animals moan and fall. I feel horrible.

I am watching them turn. I can witness their change amidst unmatched rejuvenation. One moment everything is fine. We are having a time of our life, the next we are devoured by the unprecedented jaws of chaos. Time stops by when they are converting like a zombie. In those fleeting seconds, I can see them lose it. An inexplicable fallacy swallows them up. They become bitches to it, and then they are not here. Here, yet not here.

Somewhere I feel responsible. Like I could have saved them. I had the chance gawking at me, mocking me in my face. Something tells me if I had just tried harder, if I had used the right words….if I could have just stopped them! But tragedy always lurks in the shadows, waiting to happen. No matter what you say or do. You can’t stop the inevitable.

People wouldn’t listen. They have a mistaken sense of honour, a mistaken sense of discernment, that can never be overpowered. You feel powerless in front of them, trying. That’s what happened. And then I am left up with a world of thoughts, and a sky full of what-ifs.

Tragedies are written. We are just living it.

The perpendicular Universe choices

Life puts you in places. In situations you have no control over. In limelight at times, where your say would eventually wrap things up. In moments, when the world will wait for you. For your first step in a direction conceived in your head. For they have a walk in their legs too, but they are impatient to follow yours. Where you are the vanguard. You are the leader. Your word is the word.

At such an hour, you can’t afford to fumble. You just can’t freeze. It is at those junctures you look at the crowd in the dark, holding their breath, counting on you, and you wonder, “What if I mess it up?” What if I screw their lives?” The world depends on you. People look up to you. With so many piercing eyes of hope, you are bound to dwindle.

Take a deep breath and just dive. You don’t know where it will take you. You don’t know how deep it will push you, and you might fall and fall and fall. But remember it was all yours – The decision to take that plunge. So take responsibility, and steer things in the right direction.

You gotta do it. Take a shot! Unflinchingly. Stand true by the plan your head cooked up in the first place, and stick to it.

Don’t look back! Don’t ever regret! In the far off future, if you get a chance to introspect, don’t ever think about the other option. Don’t even spend a thought on the road you left intact. Just say: “That was it! And I took it.”

It is the right way to live, and abate dispensable worries. You see, things like regrets always pull you down. They have hooks that are forever attached to you. With every decision you make, your fidgeting gives birth to another. As you move forward it will only slow you down. You will be compelled to wade with all your might, and it will be hard to make it, with all the weight pulling you down.

Forget options like they were ever there and you might end up loving yourself even more.

Image

I have always toyed with the idea of hell. Our ancestors have nailed it in our brains. We follow what is taught, and conventions, I take unmatched pleasure in breaking.

The first thing that comes to our mind, when we hear the H word, are snakes all around, darkness, silence, ugly creatures, monsters, abyss and what not. (You almost made it devil!) But here I would like to imagine something different. Let hell be just like hell, only a little bit more realistic if not theatrical.

I have had had days, when nothing would go right. I would fall, scratch myself unknowingly, hurt myself mentally, lose my temper every now and then, curse, cuss, break things reluctantly and then sulk for the rest of the day. Au contraire, there have been days when I would feel that I am on top of the world, create, do useful things, do things that would make others happy, me happy, win all games, gain, laugh, love and live.

You see where this is going, right? Yeah!

Whatever things we have ever defined, of which we are afraid of, are actually creations of our fears. They are an outcome of what we should be afraid of. They have confined us from exploring the unexplored. Ghosts would never have existed, if the notion of fear wasn’t there.

We haven’t seen it. It is only in our talks. All events breaking loose could be analogous to how hell could have possibly been in reality. If hell would have existed, it could have entailed series of unfortunate events happening one by one in quick succession, giving no room to sanity. Commotion. Sheer ruckus. That is how I like to keep the old theory breathing.

Nobody wishes to experience their weird imagination. People have just followed their mind’s projections to feel the angst and suffering. They already know it is not good. Why would they ever want to go there? People simply fantasize. Just how a kid does. Daydreaming a deadly fiery battle with a dragon. At least I do. I would always have my hidden blades with me. I would often fight monsters with a Katana. Now that is another story.

To sum it up, I would rather quote that great man, of whom I often speak in high regards. He wrote this about ‘hell’ somewhere:

It is reality. Just messed up with uncertainty and confusion. Just doomed by odd decisions and their aftermath. It is reality, simply stained with negative events. That is how I like to picture it. Because our fantasies are merely our mind’s projections. Hell as they describe it, is just the projection of their fears and my world has no room for it.

Kudos! great man. Yeah, that’s me again. 😛